The one bar I will never miss

But cheers to the rest of them.

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Just how much do you miss going to bars? Slip on some headphones, head over to imissmybar.com, and find out.

This audio project comes courtesy of a bar called Maverick in San Pedro Garza García, Mexico, and as a barfly simulation it’s surprisingly effective.

You can customize the ambience to raise or lower the volume on the clinking of glasses, patrons chattering, a bartender mixing drinks, rain tapping on windows, street noise, and summery night sounds like chirping crickets. It’s even got a decent Spotify playlist, rotated weekly.

And so it is that I’m sitting at my desk with goosebumps up my neck, and a longing to be around strangers, sipping something stronger than this mug of tepid rooibos tea. Turns out I do miss bars after all.

There’s a good mix of sounds here, though after a while it gets repetitive. For variety I’d add a crowd cheering on a sporting event, the mechanics of a jukebox, and the mashing of buttons on a retro videogame cabinet. Guess it’s not that kind of bar.

But there are some sounds I would never feel are missing from my bar experience:

• a Slurpee machine

• high-schoolers microwaving burritos

• customers paying for gas

• the whirr of many, many refrigerators

• dreams dying.

Have a listen, and imagine trying to relax with a cocktail to these vibes:

I’m talking, of course, about the biggest little news item out of Ontario this week: the revelation that 7-Eleven stores across the province have applied for liquor licenses — not so that customers can buy beer or wine to go, but for that beer or wine to actually be served, and ingested, in a designated in-store drinking area.

AGCO @Ont_AGCO

Liquor Sales Licence Applications (for on-site consumption only & only when that is once again permitted) at 61 7-Eleven locations across the province have entered the public notice phase. For information on the specific locations, or to file an objection:

ow.lyGeneral Information - Objecting to a Liquor Sales Licence Application | Alcohol and Gaming Commission of OntarioPublic Notice Process for Liquor Sales Licence Applications A liquor licence may be issued unless, pursuant to the Liquor Licence Act, it is found not to be in the public interest having regard to the needs and wishes of the residents. The following infographic provides an overview of the public n…

I went to my nearest location on Dundas West, an area already thick with delightful licensed establishments, to confirm whether we’ll also be getting a shitty one.

It’s all happening!

Indeed we are. That is, if the application is ever approved.

Go ahead and see for yourself if you, too, might get a convenience-store cantina in your neighbourhood.

There are various grounds on which to object to such an idea, but for me it’s just one: why? When restaurants and bars have been struggling for months under lockdown just to stay afloat (and many of them won’t), why add cheap competition from a retail giant?

Your new local.

Seven-Eleven is a great place to buy junky snacks, exchange propane tanks, use the ATM, cash in lottery tickets.

It’s the place you want to go to after a night of drinking, at which point those two-for-$5 slices of salty pizza tanning behind glass are exactly what you crave. You’re there for us, 7-Eleven, with bags of Doritos and tall cans of sugary iced tea just when we need you the most. You’re our Cinderella in reverse, magically transforming into a fluorescent-lit princess after midnight.

Don’t spoil a good thing by having us start the night there, slouching on a vinyl stool squeezed between the Blueberry Blasts and the day-old Taquitos, knocking back buck-a-beers out of a Big Gulp cup.

We don’t wanna go where nobody knows your name.

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Lockdown means we can’t go for beers, but you can always buy me a coffee.

In lieu of tips, please click the ♡ on the way out.

Talk soon.